Christianity · Housewife · Personal Views

How to Be a Southern Housewife {SBC’S Thoughts }

{Hello, Sweet Baby Cadillac here reposting a well written post from the viewpoint of a modern feminist who believes it is detrimental to women to believe in these so called “rules for living a southern housewife life.” I take no credit for this post, but I do wish to add some insight from the view of a woman who lives daily by these morales and thoroughly enjoys her life. All of my responses will be italicized and in these brackets.}

Today I somehow came across this blog, which I will not name, and the post that I came across was something along the lines of “How to be the perfect southern housewife,” and while I am…

Source: How to Be a Southern Housewife

Today I somehow came across this blog, which I will not name, and the post that I came across was something along the lines of “How to be the perfect southern housewife,” and while I am neutral (and slightly against) the idea of housewives, I found the “rules” that she listed ridiculous. I will summarize them below. And if you are wondering, sadly yes, this lady was serious.

 

  1. You must know how to cook meals for your husband. Plate the food nicely and always serve him first.” First of all, lady, what kind of fantasy world does your husband thinks he lives in? I’m going to take a wild guess and say that it was his idea. If not, I pity that your mother/father that taught you this way. You are not a slave to your husband. He does not own you. And really, serve him first? He’s not a king, he’s your husband.

{SBC: Our men work hard daily to supply us with the money to live, as well as taking care of our needs, which include clothing, housing, food and luxury items. In most circumstances women want for nothing in these situations and so to honor the husband by putting his needs above our own is not unheard of. Submission is not always a negative ideal. My Mother was a single mom who didn’t do much. I had no display of a traditionalist life. I do these things because I love my husband, and he works a very labor intensive job. If I plate his food and serve him first, it gives him more energy to interact with me after a long hard day.}

  1. “You need to clean the entire house before your husband gets home.” Like I said, you aren’t a slave. Just because you are a woman who happens to live at home, doesn’t mean you should do all the work for your husband. And yes, she does mention cleaning all of her husband’s mess as well. He is not a child. He can clean up after himself.

{SBC: You did not directly link the post, so I cannot check this for validity, but I find it hard to believe this is the exact term used for this rule. Most Home Makers have a system down to keep the house clean daily without straining to do every chore daily. By cleaning up after everyone in the home, you are not enabling childlike behavior, you are caring for someone who works out of the home and supplies you with an income. It’s simply trashy to live in an unclean and un-hygienic home, So to clean daily is just good practice. If it is done before he gets home, that is time you can be spending together to keep the marriage bond strong.}

  1. “Get ready for his departure in the mornings. Get up before he does and brush your hair, wash your face, put on some mascara & gloss. Make his lunch-everyday.” I’m not sure if this was her intention, but she is trying to portray  that a woman should be perfect 24/7. This is not only unrealistic, but frankly a lie to your husband as well. He should love you regardless of whether or not you look like an undead alien in the morning. Also, really? Make his lunch? He knows how to move his hands. He can make his own lunch. She sounds like she is getting her baby boy ready for preschool.

{SBC: Well, of course you will never be able to hide your true God Given appearance from your spouse forever. But if you take pride in looking nice, what is so wrong with desiring a freshening up in the morning to help lift your husband’s spirits? If you greet him smiling with your war paint, he’s more likely to catch that chipper and contagious attitude. Makeup makes most women feel invincible. Why not make this a practice in the morning and help everyone along by setting a good example? Again, making a lunch for your husband is helping respect and thank him for his hard work. Some men do not have time to make themselves lunch. If you’re a stay-at-home wife, you can spare the time. Get off the damn internet and dote on your husband. You may find he returns the gesture in different but mutually pleasing ways.}

  1. “Prepare yourself for his arrival home. Take 15 mins before your hubby arrives home to clean yourself up a bit. Re apply that lip gloss, smooth your hair. You should look like a shiny trophy because you are PRIZED! Your home should be a haven. Always greet him with a kiss & a smile.” One, you are not his little dolly. You are a human being. You are not a shiny trophy. He didn’t earn you. A wife loves her husband, she doesn’t submit to him. I don’t know what kind of fantasies this lady is having. It seems like she’s been watching way too many 50s movies and she is so bored that she is fantasizing how she can become less boring. Okay, I don’t mean to be rude here, but this is revolting to me. I would rather be poor but have a job than do what she does. And yes, this is her “choice”, but it doesn’t seem like it by the way she lets her husband treat her. This seems like extreme brainwashing to me.

{SBC: What is wrong with being his little dolly? And what is wrong with a man taking pride in his wife? Your next few sentences sound like you have settled for every relationship you have had in life. In a true marriage bond, and people who believe in traditionalism (It’s fine if you do not, but it’s great if you do.) Submission is a good tool and key to help along the marriage and keep it strong. Submission is a highly controversial word, and in my opinion it is the truly self conscious and afraid who are terrified of this simple word with such a warped meaning. It sounds to me that your revolted nature is caused by some odd inability to conceive that not everyone needs to think as you do. I don’t think she is mistreated at all. Perhaps you’re the one not receiving just treatment?}

  1. “The Bible says a nagging wife is like a dripping faucet. And nagging your hubby wont make him do anything but try to get away from you. There are certain things a southern housewife never does btw which are: touch the trash, do any yard work or do any kind of repair work with your car….which just as a reminder, isn’t lady like.” Really? Using the bible to justify being treated like dirt? I am aware that this isn’t entirely the husband’s fault, but my point is that he lets it happen, and chances are that he likes it. Really? “Isn’t lady like?” Gender roles much? My friend Kaitlyn has an entire post on why gender roles are nasty so I’ll link it here: https://creativenessnevergetsold.wordpress.com/2016/01/12/gender-roles/

{SBC: Are you bashing someone’s religious choices? You probably read in a book that the earth is round. Now, that you have been taught the earth is round would you justify travelling around it without the chance of falling off? Using the bible to justify the way of living your life is perfectly fine for people who identify as Christian. Dehumanizing someone because of that choice is completely horrendous and I’m ashamed of you. If someone chooses to identify with traditional gender roles, I feel as though they have that right, just as they have the right to not identify with them. Have you ever thought that this post is targeted to people who feel the same as the person who wrote these rules rather than all of the female race? If someone nagged you to be a housewife, would you do it? probably not. So we won’t nag you, and by writing this post you somehow stumbled upon and inserted your opinion was not nagging. Get my point?}

  1. “You must know how to clean. No man wants to live in piggy mess!” Once again, she sounds like a housewife is a maid. Like I said, gender roles are nasty and harmful to both genders. It’s unfair to this woman that her husband gets to act like a child his entire life. He first has his mommy to cook, clean, and pack his lunch every day for him, and then he has the same thing when he gets his wife. Your wife is not your mommy. A marriage should have equality, not slavery. I mean, it seems like this lady enjoys living in this artificial world, but in reality, and behind the scenes, I can almost say for sure that she is bored and unhappy.

{SBC: Again, Not everyone is great at cooking, cleaning and caring for others, so if this is not your niche’ that is fine. But suggesting we’re enabling childlike behavior by doing something we’re good at is rude. My husband does NOT act like a child because I choose to do the cleaning, his laundry and mine, serve his dinner and make his lunch. He has cared for me above and beyond what I have for him, as well as our animals. He works a back breaking job that injures him daily. He is far from a child. I wonder if you have ever met a true masculine traditionalist man. Call him a child and see where that gets you. Can you even tune a carburetor or lift a transmission? I’m amazed you’re so sudden to assume she is bored and unhappy. Perhaps this is why I have no friends except traditionalists, because no one understands.}

  1. “Don’t forget how to be sexy! You should wear sexy things around the house.” Woman are not “sexy” objects that just lounge around all day looking pretty.

{ SBC: We don’t lounge around all day. Didn’t you just talk about how we cook, clean and treat our husband’s like children? Taking care of “children” is full time work. I must say that any woman who doesn’t help to sexually satisfy her husband should not be married. Part of joining together in a relationship is the ability to be intimate and romantic with one another. It is dually both responsibilities to hold interest in one another. Would you find your husband sexy in his chicken grease stained wife beater, 5’o clock shadow and boxers that have skid marks? He’s not going to find your menses panties and torn t-shirt any more appealing. I pity people who have a lazy and uninteresting sex life with their spouse. See you divorced in a few years. It’s human nature and usually, (Exceptions to every rule) people cannot go without sexual attraction to their life mate.}

 

In conclusion, I highly doubt that people of intelligence and common sense would want this occupation, but for whatever crazy reason they do, I pity them. Man or woman staying home, it is still unfair. They are not slaves. I am not saying that it’s wrong for a man/woman to stay home, but the fact that this woman made rules on how you should act is disgusting. For example, if a man/woman gets injured and she/he is no longer able to work, than why would I shame her/him for staying home? But if he/she deliberately aspires to be a slave… that is when I take it too far. I have had enough of this whole, “Well, she has a choice.” Is it really a choice when she is brainwashed to like this nightmare? Is it really a choice when she wants the easy way out because she might not be intelligent enough (or she chooses to dumb herself down) to get her own job? Plus, the fact that WOMEN are housewives and cleaners and caretakers is revolting. I’ve had enough.

{SBC: It’s sad that I am apparently a person of low class and intelligence according to your prejudices. I’m afraid that your notion of brainwashing is a farce, and your ability to attract attention and dehumanize women for making this choice is disgusting to me. I will allow you to work out of the home, raise children from a second hand basis, and probably live in a cluttered home and never know what it’s like to have a husband dote on you and experience true romanticism. Clearly I’m not intelligent enough to make my own decisions and by choosing to be a home maker, my IQ is lower than yours. 

mayb i shuld txt lik dis?

Hm, At the end of the day, all these arguments are intriguing. I simply wish and pray that you can open your eyes and not judge women who willingly chose to live a life that makes you so clearly uncomfortable. If we ever get the chance to debate this topic, I hope we can without you insulting my education because of my religion and life choices.}

Thanks for reading.

XOXO Sweet Baby Cadillac

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16 thoughts on “How to Be a Southern Housewife {SBC’S Thoughts }

  1. After the third try I got it to work. So I’m going to say that the post you linked would have the same exact systematic replies yours has. So its involvement really isn’t of my concern and I’m not sure why you felt it needed to be addressed. It neither helps not hinders yours.

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  2. I am absolutely floored by the original article. Absolutely astounded and flabbergasted. She seems like such a negative, bitter, and all around hateful person.

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    1. Oh and there’s people joining in on her side. It’s really very interesting. I have taken the stance of silence now. And I will keep to myself. The amount of assumptions are painful. But when a feminist journalist likes my comment, I would like to point out I must have said one thing right. Que sera sera.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I am a train wreck of feelings. I feel so bad, because she is only 17… But at the same time I know that this is something which needs to be said loud and clear. And I hope that maybe one day she will figure out (like I did) that this is just as toxic- if not more so- than the social ideology that says Womanhood = bad, just dressed up nicer behind a better purpose. Misogyny, however, is still misogyny- whether you are a Man or a Woman, a Feminist or against Feminism, Traditionalist or not, and so on.

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      2. So absolutely Anti-Feminist. We are such terrible Women. Look at us not standing up for our fellow people and not supporting their decision to do what they damned well please with their own lives! You’d think we thought we knew what was best and most progressive for all Women….

        Liked by 1 person

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