Christianity · Trading Tattooing

Trading Tattooing Part 3

Part 2 HERE

Intended for Mature Audiences.

{There is a lot of history in here that you’re missing out on, and I will elaborate on each when the time comes. There’s one man in particular that changes my entire outlook on life. And when we met, I was still a tattoo artist, still not interested in relationships and still struggling to achieve the title of “Best Artist in Toledo.” I had a big ego in those days, but it was only a shield to hide the insecurities I truly had deep down. All I really wanted was to be loved, and feel a purpose I didn’t have to struggle to achieve. I thought tattooing came easy to me, and the simple act of tattooing and the procedure to preform it had. But the simple act of living in that industry was never easy. I fought tooth and nail every inch of the way and I was growing tired of the constant battles.}

It was shortly before halloween, in 2011 when I met a man by the name of Jase Cox. I was at a point in my life where I thought I had reached my peak. Tattooing was going well enough, but there were lots of odd relationships that I was in and out of, none of which seemed of value to me. I had been engaged twice, and was “seeing a man” whom I worked with. I was very attracted to Jase and with the help of a friend, we met. Sadly for this chapter in my life, that was as far as it got. I was too blinded by what I thought “Love” was, that I continued flip flopping from relationship to relationship. Little did I know, This man would someday help me find my true meaning in life, and who I am today.

Some of you may roll your eyes, and say that he “changed me” because evidently who I am before being saved is my “true nature.” But let me spell it out for you.

It took my husband and I 3 years to truly meet one another. 3 more years from our intital introduction of two different men, one of which tried to change my identity so severely I doubted my existance daily, and one man who seemed to only love me when he had nothing better to occupy his time with.

When I had started truly talking to Jase, three years after our initial meeting, I had just broken up with that severely emotionally abusive man who turned me against relationships. I would like to apologize to his Mother whom I love dearly for this next sentence, but I told myself I was going to bear it all here. I was only interested in sexual relations with my husband when we interacted the second time. Funny though, because Jesus used him to get to me. And I laugh when I look back at just how amazing Faith can be and how deep it can reach.

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We were very opposite at first, and he admits I broke his heart pretty severely, but he knew almost instantly he loved me, and despite me turning him down a few times, he kept being the chivalrous, lovable, sweetheart I am married to today. He never pushed my limits, but waited steadfast for me to let down the walls I had built. And to be honest, he LOVED the fact I was a badass spunky tattoo artist.

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To prove a point, that I am not much different in qualities after being saved, I asked my husband this question:

“What is the difference in me from when I tattooed, to me being a traditionalist housewife?”

His answer?

” I think you’re the same person, but less stressed. You seem happier now.”

I wish that people could see it for what it truly is. I have lost so many friends during my journey from Tattoo Artist to Christian Traditionalist Housewife. People say I lost who I was, They also say I have been brainwashed. But I suppose the happiness that now radiates from me must be confusing to them, because all they ever knew was the miserable, hateful angry girl from 4 years ago.

When I decided to officially quit tattooing, I had only attended church a handful of times. My husband (Then only a boyfriend) had supported my decision. He and I were having liberating talks about how I felt that I needed a break and should explore a job in animal care. We were not yet engaged, and actually, he and I were simply dating, but serious.He had made me feel so very different from any man I had dated, and I knew for once, I was comfortable knowing and trusting my entire being to someone else.

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I got saved at Dayspring Assembly of God in May of 2013. My story is a little different from most, because I was baptized in the Holy Spirit before I ever truly gave my verbal admittance that Jesus was my Savior. Now, I had been praying that God would give me the courage to be saved in front of witnesses, but he had a different plan, one that would impact me and my beliefs on how exactly one should be saved. I owe it all to Jase and his family, for loving me where I was despite my flaws, and the fact they’re still there!

My life started changing after my Savior showed his desires for my life. I found myself desiring to marry this man, and making bonds with his family that I had never had with anyone in my life. With those you gain, you must also lose the unhealthy bits.

“You’re too different now. You act all “holier than thou” and I feel like I can’t be myself around you” -K

“Your life seems so perfect. It’s just too weird.” – A

“Are you sure he isn’t forcing you to be something you’re not?” -K

“I can’t continue to be your friend if you get married and have kids. I need to party and you can’t do that.”-M

These are all things that have been said to me after being saved and getting married. I continued to work other jobs, managing a horse barn, and nannying to name a few. I at times felt more lost that when I was tattooing. But one thing was so clear, I was in the light of God, and he promised me above all else, my husband would be there to lift me up. And that is amazing.

Please stay tuned for the final portion to Trading Tattooing. I will fully outline how all of my duties have changed. My social life, the friends I have made, and my true beliefs on traditionalism. I appreciate everyone who has read my journey this far and I hope that it shows you, Christianity is not brainwashing. And being a housewife is my choice, and I love it more than words can say.

XOXO Sweet Baby Cadillac

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4 thoughts on “Trading Tattooing Part 3

  1. You are a phenomenal woman! I love how you are sharing what and how God changes you. He did the same for me. See I was a respectable drug dealer ( which means we didn’t sell to kids) But because I had a very abusive childhood I found it hard to believe anyone loved me, especially “The Father” but God watched over me and kept me safe. He also slowly kept showing me how he loved me. And unlike my real father He would never leave me. At 23 I finally surrendered all my fear hate &mistrust. I then felt his love fill me . It took me another year to quit getting high but he never condemned me. He lets us decide when those protective we put up come down. My life hasn’t been all roses and ice cream. I’ve been through alot of garbage alot of my own making. But I’ve never been alone I can always feel him loving and guiding me. I still am working on following directions. But God loves me. He delights in me even one those days,months ,yrs when I screw up. For that I am greatful! Thanks for sharing.<3

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