Retro · Vintage

Substitutions for Swearing


No one enjoys a well refined lady who is actually a muckspout (Someone who swears too much.) Some traditionalist women or stay at home Moms are trying daily to curb their cursing. This is an extremely valuable trait especially when representing your household. I know, I know. It is hard, especially in today’s society where all we are surrounded by is profanity and sex. So here are some old substitutes to modern day curse words, and even a few ways to remind yourself to watch your language.

Do you wish to stop taking the Lord’s name in vain? This old Irish slang term is a substitute for “By Jesus!” Simply teach yourself to substitute “Bejabbers” whenever you feel this habit coming about.

When extremely ticked off, a good “Bloody” at the beginning of a term to describe or add emphasis, gets your point across much better than “Fuck” and has a lovely roll off the tongue.

“Bugger” Is a great expletive for “Little Shit.” Which I use often when referring to my animals. Because although charming, they give many a headache at times.

“Consarn-It” Is a rather western term used in place of “God Damn It.” So I you’re feeling rather Cow Poke ish, use this expletive instead.

“Sard” I honestly never use this, but it’s a medieval swear term. It’s actual use is largely debated. But hey, why not look cool.

If you wanted to make a point by giving a rather sleazy woman a profane name without being largely ridiculed for your tongue, Just call Her a “Trollop”

“Mutton Shunter” is a term used in the UK in days long since past to refer to police men and constables. It’s similar to “Pig” and “PoPo”

We all love the word “ass” for various reasons, but if referring to the human buttocks, “Pumblechook” is just as good.

I find the best way to keep my tongue in check is to always remind myself that someone is watching me. Especially Jesus. But more so to the round of young women and men who may be looking up to me. I do not want to ever be the downfall of a young child’s vocabulary. Attempting daily to use these terms is also a creative way to experiment with speech as well as your surroundings. Who knows, someone may just know what you’re saying!


Do you have any favorite vintage or outdated cuss words to replace the expletives of today? If so please share them below!




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