WAIT…Did you really just say that? I can hear the scoffs forming in your throats. I know. We married them right? They said “I Do” to the good the bad and the ugly. And sometimes, it gets really hard to put that make up on in the morning, shave your legs every other day- Wait….Okay every 3-4 days, and be that beautiful woman that he courted years ago, right? Well, I am here to tell you that your husband finds your physical appearance A LOT more important than you think and for some of us, even more than we feel. Now before I get into this lengthy and extremely important post, let me say that this advice IS NOT (I REPEAT) IS NOT FOR EVERYONE. If you and your husband have agreed he enjoys your weight, your unwashed hair and unshaven pits, go about your merry way and do not muddy up my comments with arguments. Your keyboard civil duty isn’t going to change my mind, just as much as I will not change yours. Keep scrolling and we will both have a very merry day. I am only trying to help those that are struggling with issues related to this topic.
Beauty is defined as : Pleasing to the senses or mind aesthetically,
Of a very high standard or excellent.
We as women struggle continuously to meet beauty standards that society has deemed worth while. A obtainable goal for some, but not everyone. So for the remainder of this post, please do not assume I am speaking from a standpoint of complete and total stereotypical beauty. I am talking about finding the ways your husband finds you beautiful and striving to keep his expectations. Continuing to meet his expectations of beauty can ultimately keep the love alive in your marriage and assure him you’re happy, healthy and enjoying life to the fullest.
Let’s start with an experiment. When I type the words “Beautiful Woman” into Google I receive this as the very first photograph.
This is evidently not the only “Beautiful woman” on Google, but the very first photograph of millions to pop up. I do not know the model, her name, or why she is considered thus, but I felt the desire to ask a few unbiased gentleman friends of mine why they thought she might be under the classification of “beautiful woman”. The comments are posted below.
She is not what I find attractive.
She’s the definition of typical super model beauty.
But what stood out to me was her eyes, tan skin and long hair.
I know she’s touched up and computer fixed.
In the first image I think the way her hair frames her face, her high cheekbones and her sense of aloof mystery. Plus, quite possibly, expert Photoshop work.
The first photo I immediately noticed her hair, lips and eyes. She has a look of confidence.
In my opinion she is considered beautiful because she looks confident, carrys herself well and I feel like today’s standards (which I don’t agree with) she is thinner and very done up.
It is safe to say by the responses here, no one is expecting us to obtain this rather unrealistic photo of “beautiful.” I am one to agree that beauty comes in all colors shapes and sizes, and most likely, our husbands or boyfriends chose us because we define what their personal beautiful is.
Now, when I handed them (digitally of course) a photo that came up when I google searched the stereotypical “Frumpy Woman” these were the responses I obtained. (Note: The photo of the “frumpy woman” is not posted for sake of privacy. I don’t know the person and in no way wish to garner negative attention to said individual.)
The second photo just kinda puts me off. I get the feeling that the woman cares very little about her appearance at the moment, looks a little sloppy.
That second photo the poor woman is squinting into bright sunlight. Which automatically ruins her expression.
Second, she’s captured in the midst of doing something which gives her an awkward posture.
But I will say that those shorts are unflattering. They emphasize her hips and make her body look unbalanced.
I wonder if she looked in the mirror? There’s clearly no effort put in. I don’t know. Clearly to her appearance doesn’t matter.
In the same tone, I asked these men a series of simple questions. They are all copied verbatim as given in response to me. I kindly ask that any women who feel offended by this post simply click away. This is targeted for a demographic of women who have the desire to understand the workings of their husband’s feelings towards outward beauty as well as mental beauty. I am a firm believer that there should be more posts targeted to men helping them understand our emotions as women, but about 90% of the time, there’s not a chance he will read it. We are beneficial to filling the gap. And if, Like me you are a traditionalist woman, you know the importance of always being your best for the sake of your household and it’s head. Who is your husband. For those related to the “SAHW/M” aspect of my targeted audience, Our men are busy bringing home the paycheck. I encourage you to ask your significant other these questions and talk about it. Do not get offended by his answers, for they are his opinions. This is what makes a marriage. Two people with opposing opinions agreeing to find a common ground.
1.Do you consider physical fitness important? I am talking more about the realm of health, not how many pounds a woman weighs, or how toned her abs are.
1.I like a woman who cares about herself and is active and motivated, she doesn’t have to kill herself all the time and I’m totally fine with relaxing once and awhile. Walks in the park, go to the gym once in awhile, being “active” most of the time. -J.W.
1) I consider health important and see physical fitness as a means to that end. But I certainly do not mind a little “squish” nor do I object to skinny bodies. I find beauty in most people. -D.C.
1. Yes it’s important. Keeps you healthy active and less potential for health issues. -J.C.
2. Do you like make up on your wife? I understand you no doubt find her beautiful without, but do you feel that the effort put in to her appearance through cosmetics is beneficial?
2. Makeup is not necessary all the time but I really enjoy seeing her done up for special occasions and at least doing a little bit of hair and light cosmetics when going to dinner, movie, ECT. -J.W.
2) I love makeup both because I think it, like the right outfit, can enhance a person’s appearance. It is also a good confidence booster and for many women a fun form of self expression and art! -D.C.
2. Yes. It usually makes her feel better, comfortable to be in public. And I like her all done up. -J.C.
3. What are the top three things you first notice about your wife when you see her (Whether it’s after work or first thing in the morning.)
3. First things I notice about my girlfriend are her hair, clothes and attitude.-J.W.
3) Expression, posture and smell. -D.C.
3. Her bright vibrant eyes, her body, her voice. -J.C.
4. What are the top three things you notice about other women?
4. Hair, facial features and how she carries herself. -J.W.
4) Probably the same. (See previous answer.)-D.C.
4. How they’re put together, how they carry themselves, and their mannerisms.-J.C.
5. Would you consider yourself a visually driven individual?
5. I hate to admit it but I am at first but that can quickly go out the window if she has a bad attitude or is a stuck up or sour person. Looks are what catch my eye at first, I don’t have a specific type of woman. I like all types as long as she carries herself well, proportionate to an extent at least and has a positive and caring outlook for herself and others. What really gets me in the long run is a girl that cares about herself and others, has her own interests but is open to enjoy other possible interests, be cultured and educated or the want to continue to learn.-J.W.
5) Perhaps. Though not more so than the written word.- D.C.
5. Most of the time, yes. And most of the time I find out my visual opinions of someone are fairly accurate.-J.C.
6.Do you compliment your wife honestly, or is it usually to illicit a positive feeling no matter the situation?
6. I do compliment her alot in my opinion. When I do compliment her I do it truthfully and because I want to 99% of the time. There has been times I have complimented her to boost her self-esteem but at the same time it is a true compliment.-J.W.
6)It is honest. Flattery isn’t an effective way to elicit positive response from my wife just on its own. Though a genuine compliment will do so. -D.C.
6. I do honestly compliment her. -J.C.
7. Does she receive compliments well?
7. Most of the time yes. There has been time when I genuinely feel like she doesn’t believe me and thinks I’m just trying to make her feel better.-J.W.
7) Somewhat. There is always the reflex of denial or self depreciation.-D.C.
7. No. It depends on the situation. -J.C.
8. Do you feel that her physical appearance adds or subtracts from your relationship and briefly elaborate.
8. Not sure how to answer really lol. I will try my best. I love her personality and attitude toward herself and others. Physical appearance doesn’t really effect me unless it is drastically changed. Which could tell me she no longer cares about her health or herself.-J.W.
8)Especially when she sees it too and is consequently feeling good about her self. Nothing is sexier than self confidence.-D.C.
8. It adds to it. I was attracted to her appearance. That’s why I chose to pursue her, I thought she was pretty.-J.C.
Judging by the wide spectrum of answers from different male personalities, it is easy to surmise that physical appearance as well as a rounded personality of positive attributes is important to your husbands.
So why don’t we all work at being beautiful to our husbands? Whether it’s just as simple as accepting his compliment, or doing things that help you feel beautiful because he loves that sexy confident glow. I can guarantee your marriage will benefit from it. In my humble traditionalist opinion, (And most likely the reason you are here is because you agree, or find me a laughable joke;)You should always look your best for those you love. It shows them a priority that speaks volumes. When you feel your best, it leaks in to every part of your life. From your relationships to the way you walk.
Let me know how you feel about this post below! Even ask your husband or boyfriend these questions and post them in the comments. I would love to talk about the answers. But please, kind and proper debate only.
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